Long Time

It's been a little while since I last posted, but there have been good reasons, which I'll probably get around to in this post.

I am still alive. Let's put that in the win column. I'm sure there are more good things going for me, but life is kind of beating up on me right now.

In college my professor once told me that you're nothing in the TV business until you've been fired. I'm OK with being nothing, but I think I'm on my way to being something. As many of you know, our newsroom had a change in leadership. We thought it might be a good thing and we were wrong. The new guy is...for lack of a better word...not a leader. He tells people what they want to hear (even if he's telling someone else something completely different). He has said things to me and accused me of not working hard or not being a team player and many other things. Things are so bad, that there is no accountability for other people goofing off and not doing their jobs. I'm trying to do about three different jobs and putting in my 60 hours a week while others slack off. I know, I know, welcome to the real world. The point is, it wasn't always like that. Plus our quality has really gone downhill and we are starting to put a really sucky product on the air (compared to what we were doing). A couple of people have already been to the big boss, our general manager, with complaints about the new N.D. and nothing was done. One of them told me that I needed to go see him, because he needed to know how everyone felt about things.

I emailed our boss the things that have been said to me. According to company policy we can go to our boss' boss if we feel there is a problem not being addressed or if we feel we are being wronged. I followed procedure, went upstairs expecting to find someone I thought cared about his employees and his newsroom. Instead I was told that I should find a new job because things weren't going to change and things weren't going to get any better for me. What? Have you ever sat in president's office and have him tell you to quit your job? It was like thanks for the hard work, it was all for nothing. Or, no...I'm ok with us falling apart. He didn't fire me, but said I should start "managing" my leaving the station, so I didn't end up one day with no place to go. I talked with one of our anchors, who has been in this business for so long. He says I should stick with it, becuase he feels in a year or two WHO will be a good place to work again. God Bless the long outlook, but when I'm getting verbally and mentally abused everyday...two years is a long time to "wait it out."

The positives to come out of this. I am learning how respected I am among several key players around Des Moines. I have a lot of good contacts and I have been meeting with them this week. Each one wants to meet me because they respect me and have heard great things about me. I got told I'm a great journalist this week, by someone who used to be the news director at my station. TV news is changing and I am excited about being on the cusp of the "Internet revolution" so-to-speak, but I just don't seem to have the fight left in me. My anchor friend said I really had to make a decision whether or not to stand up on principles or take one for the team. It sounds worse than I know he meant it. He respects me and knows I work hard and knows that all the shows suffer a little when I'm not around. He wants me to think about how much do I need to be right about this...we all know our boss isn't good, but we're all pretty sure he won't be around too much longer after the NY Times sells the station. The question is, do make a stand and say, I shouldn't be treated like this, or do I stick it out and wait for the massive shakeup where I can get in and maybe change things for the better? Tough choices.

For the first time I am really considering getting out of TV news. For good? Maybe. I know I can always go back in, but these past few months have been like finding out Santa Claus isn't real. During one of my meetings this week, an old news director told me "You feel like you're doing God's work" in TV news, but then you step back and realize no one cares. I really felt like I was making a difference and doing good work, but now I see that no one cares. I'm just a number. A little humbling.